My first encounter with our mommy, Mrs. Agnes Abia was at the temporary site of Federal Government College, Wukari in Gongola State, now Taraba State in Nigeria. I had arrived as the last member of the pioneer set only a few weeks prior and was already in trouble. My punishment was to level a part of the gravel rich, undulating, red, and dusty ground with my hoe. Her husband, Mr. S. N. Abia was showing me where to start when she arrived in their white 504 Peugeot car to pick him up. When she saw me, she called out my name in such a soft, familiar tone like someone who had known me all my life. I was embarrassed and felt worried and ashamed that she would think that I was a bad kid. But when I looked up at her face, there was this faint, gentle smile on it which was devoid of any condemnation. She asked in that same sweet and gentle voice, "I hope you are not in trouble?" That simple gesture made me feel loved, accepted, and not judged negatively because of a single act.
Mrs. Abia was a woman of substance whose strength lay in her quiet, reserved, reticent, almost serene disposition. Her countenance was always peaceful, gentle, and mild. There was always something unhurried in her approach which brought tranquillity to the environment and your world. I remember when in class 2, the girls were taxed with preparing the food for our Founders Day dinner. We had complained about the food the year before so our principal Mr. Abia gave us the opportunity to put our mouth where our money was by preparing the dinner this time around. We had taken on the challenge enthusiastically, but quickly became overwhelmed by the responsibility especially during the time to serve our guests. We were hurrying from the kitchen to the hall frantically and spinning around like chickens with their heads cut off. Mrs. Abia called me over to the high table where she sat with other important guests and quietly pointed out to me that we had used the cover of plates to serve some vegetables to the guests including the Aku Uka, the traditional ruler of Wukari. It was only then that I noticed the faux pas and was horrified. However, in that same enthralling, smooth, and calming voice she proceeded to tell me how to go about fixing the situation. Again, there was no anger, condemnation, or disappointment in her voice, but rather, this deep understanding that encouraged one to try harder and do their best.
Mrs. Abia was a doting mother. Anytime the boys at school went home with her son Arinze during our "Exeat Days", there was always delicious food provided which was a real treat and a break from the not so palatable cafeteria food. Her home in Wukari and also Enugu were elegantly furnished and extremely clean. She was a devoted and supportive wife as she was quite informed, knowledgeable, sensitive and extremely intelligent. As I reflect now, I believe that she concealed or submerged her personality and sacrificed for the sake of her husband’s career. Thus providing the strong, capable, and efficient backing he needed to thrive and successfully carry out his responsibilities.
Her introversion mixed with her kindness and a genuine concern for people made her intriguing and extremely attractive to people. You get the feeling that in her silence, she missed nothing, but was observing beyond the words people spoke. She was paying close attention to details and was extremely prudent. Mrs. Abia had a deep, inner strength that was always under control. She was genuinely concerned about others which exemplified her caring and empathetic nature.
The rich and inner beauty of soul, intertwined with her meek and gentle spirit radiated brightly to illuminate lives that crossed her path. Mrs. Agnes Nwakego Abia was a gem of a woman and we thank God for the life that she lived and every life she touched. May her gentle soul rest in perfect peace.
Uloma Obi-Onyido
Pioneer Set
FGC Wukari
Thank you!